Grief

   On  6th May  the Consultant told my dad that there was no chance that he would ever be fit enough for a heart bypass operation, His heart was functioning at about 20%, so he was weak. A number of additional health problems had left him very frail, with little energy to do more than just 'get by'.

  I rang him last monday (the 9th), and we talked for a while. He spoke about what the Doctor had said, and I think he had peace about it. He said that now he could "Make the best of however long I have left".

I fill up every time I think of that. On Thursday morning Tigs and I were out for Tigs regular music session, and shopping, and we came home to a message on the answerphone - ring my parents home urgently. I have to admit I still think of Dad as the 'well' one. I thought something had happened to mum.

So I rang and mum answered  "Are you all right mum?" it came out in a scramble of words. Her answer was deliberate - I 'M alright - but Dad's dead."  She found him in his bed that morning, peacefully asleep. For ever.

I wish I'd known on Monday that he only had two days left.

Easter holidays

   We didn't go away at Easter, but seem to have been busy. Easter seems a long time ago now. I will never forget Easter day, we had a joyful morning service at church.  The children were all given ribbon streamers to wave during the songs, and my enduring memory is of Pup dancing at the front of the church with his ribbons. No other children were dancing; but Pup  is a bit of an exhibitionist does not suffer with any inhibitions...  Or  in fact any other hangups about his identity and gender. He wore a fetching multicoloured neckace to church this week and spent most of his time after church playing with the girls. He loves to play with toddlers and will tell anyone who will listen about his imaginary baby.

   Now Pup is back at school, Tigs at preschool. We have a reminder of Easter in two bags on the dining room table, Tigs bag has the few small remains of his Easter eggs, Pups has about six untouched eggs and bags of chocolate. I often have to throw Pups eggs away. I bite my lip to remind myself not to nag him to eat them. He gets enough nagging on that subject.

Back to happier subjects. We had a visit from Grandma and Grandad, and dragged them along on an outing to the zoo. We saw a lot of exciting creatures.

We did a few walks, and had some adventures on the way....

kite down

We played with the kitten.

My wild child can be very gentle when he's in the mood.

 We went to the bike park.

sorry about the graffiti

And Stowe landscape gardens.

 

And did a LOT of trampolining.

We also visited friends, and had friends, and aunt and 12 year old cousin visit,  helped in the garden. And rested a lot.

 

We needed it.